We know much more today about children’s special needs than we did in the fifties and sixties. Serena had an overactive bladder but she also has shared with me that she was flat chested [http://www.breastaugmentation.com/index.php] [http://www.breastcreation.com] while at Reinhardt; I had my own goddamned problems. When I was on the Reinhardt Rams championship football team, at the final game of the season--we were at the Spruce High School field at night and the stadium lights shone on the faces of my friends and their parents packing the stands--I had a problem whenever I was on the field. I couldn’t see anything. Whenever Mr. Gerber called me in to play, I handed him my horn rimmed glasses, which he put in his pocket, and headed off toward a fuzzy set of figures out on the field. I couldn’t figure out why he decided to play me at offensive end. In the huddle, I frantically told quarterback Steve Green not to take the long pass option to me because I couldn’t see him in the backfield or a football flying toward me. I was a bit ashamed to say that to Steve in front of my nine other teamates but thought it was better for him to try to make a better play than to throw a ball at me, which might hit me in the head before I saw it. I was still able to play defense fairly well and was proud that Mr. Gerber had put me, playing right defensive end, up against the biggest boy any seventh grade had ever had for a player. I must have been about 5’4” and weighed 80 pounds. He was 6’2’’ and weighed 200. After the game, my Dad reproved me with a comment, “Why didn’t you block and knock down that big boy you were supposed to be guarding.” We lost the game with a score of something like 36-0, and I felt bad that I allowed that big guy to rush past me so many times to knock poor old Steve to the ground. Oh, well, my athletic days were near ending anyway, due to delayed spurts of testosterone, another medical condition which I’m sure has a name and a treatment.
I’d like to think that if I were to relive my life today, Mr. Gerber and my Mom would figure out that I needed some sports glasses, contact lens, or something. Perhaps those didn’t even exist back in 1962.
My problems with hyperhidrosis (see http://www.sweatypalmsinfo.com/) began at about the same time. On our seventh grade State Fair Day, as I walked down the Midway holding hands with my date Alison Posey, I knew my hyperhidrosis was creeping up and so did she. At a certain point, I think we were near the Merry-Go-Round, she very politely but firmly grabbed my wrist, wiped my palm off on my shirt, and dutifully tried to make a dry start of things. My hyperhidrosis problem re-emerged during the first week of classes at Gaston. I found myself in the drafting class as homeroom and thought I would like to take drafting. Mr. Klapp was encouraging. But after a few days of seeing the small pools of sweat I was leaving on the drafting table, I prudently realized that drafting wasn’t for me, I would just make a mess of things, and told Mr. Klapp so much.
I’d like to think that if I were to relive my life today, Mr. Klapp and my Mom would figure out that I needed something, perhaps some antiperspirant or an endoscopic thoracic sympathectomy.
I really think my experience with Mr. Gerber at that football game was a pretty good life lesson, in that through my work career I have continuously had bosses lacking in the most basic common sense when it comes to marshaling and caring for their team members.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
The Dark Underbelly of Reinhardt--Part 2
Sexism at Reinhardt is best described by someone other than me. I don’t plan to speak with any great air of authority. But I will present a few scattered observations and vignettes.
There is a term—feminization of elementary school—that applies to most of the grade schools we attended. As far as I could see, Reinhardt was run by women. When Mr. Gerber took me out to the playground for a man-to-man talk to correct my behavior, it was only because Miss Wilson and Mrs. Keeling told him to get his lazy ass out to do it.
I think Reinhardt was at the end of a Golden Age of feminized grade schools. It’s interesting to look at the women teachers whom you most admired and learned from in school—for me, Miss Wilson; Mrs. Willis, my 7th grade home room teacher; at Gaston, Miss Suggs, my English teacher, and at BA, Mrs. Braden and Mrs. Wilbanks. How many of this group of female brainpower would choose teaching today if they had it to do all over again?
That’s not to say all our women teachers were standouts. I remember a day in the 4th grade when I sat in a classroom with a teacher, I don’t remember her name [Cheatum?]. She was conducting a classification activity at the chalk board. She had several categories listed on the board and was brainstorming with the class to add entries. She accepted an entry and wrote it down, I don’t remember the specifics. But I knew it was a mistake: she was miscategorizing something and should have known better. So I raised my hand and said, “You ignorant bitch, that word shouldn’t have been written there. You are miscategorizing.” I really didn’t use the term “ignorant bitch.” I was very polite, and my comment really was very bright for a fourth grader. Her response? “Don, you are so smart. You should grow up to be a scientist.”
From various web sources.
David and Myra Sadker researched gender equity in the classroom for over twenty years, and in a 1989 investigation with Lynette Long they explored the progress of gender equity in classrooms since the passage of Title IX. In a follow-up book, Failing at Fairness: How America’s Schools Cheat Girls (1995), the Sadkers, drawing on numerous interviews with students and teachers, found that micro-inequities occur daily in classroom interactions. Included in their study, which investigated verbal interaction patterns in elementary, secondary, and college classrooms in a variety of settings and subject areas, are the findings that girls receive fewer academic contacts, are asked lower level questions, and are provided less constructive feedback and encouragement than boys — all of which translates into reduced preparation for independent effort. The Sadkers posit that this imbalance in attention, coupled with the quality and quantity of interaction, results in the lowering of girls’ levels of achievement and self-esteem.
Boys receive significantly more remediation, criticism, and praise than girls. Boys are given more time to talk in class.
Teachers are generally unaware of the presence or the impact of such bias. Only when they view video tapes of their own classes do they see (with surprise) their own gender bias. Both male and female teachers are guilty
Not only do boys get more attention, but they get precise praise while girls get neutral praise. Boys get follow-up questions that involve higher level thinking. When boys call out, teachers focus on their answers. When girls call out, teachers remediate their behavior (Sadker & Sadker).
There is little overt sexism by teachers. Teachers interact more with boys than with girls. Student behavior determines teacher-pupil interaction patterns. Teachers react rather than initiate. Learning environments are structured to be more effective for boys than for girls (Fennema).
When girls do well in math, they attribute it to luck; and when they do poorly, they attribute it to their lack of ability. When boys do well in math, they attribute it to their ability; and when they do poorly, they attribute it to lack of effort. Boys see their successes and girls see their failures as internally determined. Boys see their failures and girls see their successes as externally determined.
I thought it was hard growing up as a boy, but I guess girls had their own set of problems.
There is a term—feminization of elementary school—that applies to most of the grade schools we attended. As far as I could see, Reinhardt was run by women. When Mr. Gerber took me out to the playground for a man-to-man talk to correct my behavior, it was only because Miss Wilson and Mrs. Keeling told him to get his lazy ass out to do it.
I think Reinhardt was at the end of a Golden Age of feminized grade schools. It’s interesting to look at the women teachers whom you most admired and learned from in school—for me, Miss Wilson; Mrs. Willis, my 7th grade home room teacher; at Gaston, Miss Suggs, my English teacher, and at BA, Mrs. Braden and Mrs. Wilbanks. How many of this group of female brainpower would choose teaching today if they had it to do all over again?
That’s not to say all our women teachers were standouts. I remember a day in the 4th grade when I sat in a classroom with a teacher, I don’t remember her name [Cheatum?]. She was conducting a classification activity at the chalk board. She had several categories listed on the board and was brainstorming with the class to add entries. She accepted an entry and wrote it down, I don’t remember the specifics. But I knew it was a mistake: she was miscategorizing something and should have known better. So I raised my hand and said, “You ignorant bitch, that word shouldn’t have been written there. You are miscategorizing.” I really didn’t use the term “ignorant bitch.” I was very polite, and my comment really was very bright for a fourth grader. Her response? “Don, you are so smart. You should grow up to be a scientist.”
From various web sources.
David and Myra Sadker researched gender equity in the classroom for over twenty years, and in a 1989 investigation with Lynette Long they explored the progress of gender equity in classrooms since the passage of Title IX. In a follow-up book, Failing at Fairness: How America’s Schools Cheat Girls (1995), the Sadkers, drawing on numerous interviews with students and teachers, found that micro-inequities occur daily in classroom interactions. Included in their study, which investigated verbal interaction patterns in elementary, secondary, and college classrooms in a variety of settings and subject areas, are the findings that girls receive fewer academic contacts, are asked lower level questions, and are provided less constructive feedback and encouragement than boys — all of which translates into reduced preparation for independent effort. The Sadkers posit that this imbalance in attention, coupled with the quality and quantity of interaction, results in the lowering of girls’ levels of achievement and self-esteem.
Boys receive significantly more remediation, criticism, and praise than girls. Boys are given more time to talk in class.
Teachers are generally unaware of the presence or the impact of such bias. Only when they view video tapes of their own classes do they see (with surprise) their own gender bias. Both male and female teachers are guilty
Not only do boys get more attention, but they get precise praise while girls get neutral praise. Boys get follow-up questions that involve higher level thinking. When boys call out, teachers focus on their answers. When girls call out, teachers remediate their behavior (Sadker & Sadker).
There is little overt sexism by teachers. Teachers interact more with boys than with girls. Student behavior determines teacher-pupil interaction patterns. Teachers react rather than initiate. Learning environments are structured to be more effective for boys than for girls (Fennema).
When girls do well in math, they attribute it to luck; and when they do poorly, they attribute it to their lack of ability. When boys do well in math, they attribute it to their ability; and when they do poorly, they attribute it to lack of effort. Boys see their successes and girls see their failures as internally determined. Boys see their failures and girls see their successes as externally determined.
I thought it was hard growing up as a boy, but I guess girls had their own set of problems.
Advice for men married to or having relationships with PMZ wenches
http://www.thirdage.com/romance/marriage/betty/sex/951530192.html
Ask Dr. Betty Polston, the Midlife Relationships Expert
To Perform or Not to Perform
Dear Dr. Betty,My wife and I have been happily married for 21 years. We generally have sex two or three times a week, but she recently told me that she'd like to have more amorous encounters. For the last couple of weeks we've had sex four or five times a week. Half the time it was great, but the other half I wasn't really into it. I really don't like the "have to perform" feeling, but I don't want to disappoint my wife either--what should I do? --T.Dear T.,With her sexual appetite increasing, your wife may be experiencing what anthropologist Margaret Mead called PMZ (post menopausal zest)--a feeling of renewed vigor and a general adventurousness that filters through every area of her life. Many women report that sex in their midlife years is the best ever. However, you don't need to perform yourself to exhaustion. Beware of tumbling into a state of performance anxiety where you might avoid sex altogether and experience lowered self esteem; this could threaten your loving relationship. There's no need to disappoint anyone here--especially yourself. Why not engage in the kind of sex that can please both of you? More is not necessarily better, so think about going back to two or three times a week, but hype up those "sexperiences."First, let foreplay begin in the morning. Foreplay can be all the thoughtful and tender things you do through the day to get in the mood for physical and emotional closeness, such as a kiss and loving touch at breakfast or a call, fax, or email during the day. During sex, introduce some new elements: relate mutual fantasies and consider acting them out; give each other erotic massages; watch X-rated videos; experiment with new positions in different places in your home; dress up in costumes; tell each other sexy jokes (humor during sex is an aphrodisiac); and very importantly, tell each other what you like, where you like it, and how you like it done. Know that midlife sexual relationships flourish with creativity, tenderness, experimentation, and communication.
Ask Dr. Betty Polston, the Midlife Relationships Expert
To Perform or Not to Perform
Dear Dr. Betty,My wife and I have been happily married for 21 years. We generally have sex two or three times a week, but she recently told me that she'd like to have more amorous encounters. For the last couple of weeks we've had sex four or five times a week. Half the time it was great, but the other half I wasn't really into it. I really don't like the "have to perform" feeling, but I don't want to disappoint my wife either--what should I do? --T.Dear T.,With her sexual appetite increasing, your wife may be experiencing what anthropologist Margaret Mead called PMZ (post menopausal zest)--a feeling of renewed vigor and a general adventurousness that filters through every area of her life. Many women report that sex in their midlife years is the best ever. However, you don't need to perform yourself to exhaustion. Beware of tumbling into a state of performance anxiety where you might avoid sex altogether and experience lowered self esteem; this could threaten your loving relationship. There's no need to disappoint anyone here--especially yourself. Why not engage in the kind of sex that can please both of you? More is not necessarily better, so think about going back to two or three times a week, but hype up those "sexperiences."First, let foreplay begin in the morning. Foreplay can be all the thoughtful and tender things you do through the day to get in the mood for physical and emotional closeness, such as a kiss and loving touch at breakfast or a call, fax, or email during the day. During sex, introduce some new elements: relate mutual fantasies and consider acting them out; give each other erotic massages; watch X-rated videos; experiment with new positions in different places in your home; dress up in costumes; tell each other sexy jokes (humor during sex is an aphrodisiac); and very importantly, tell each other what you like, where you like it, and how you like it done. Know that midlife sexual relationships flourish with creativity, tenderness, experimentation, and communication.
The Dark Underbelly of Reinhardt--Part 1
Reinhardt operated within a community that was deeply racist and sexist.
The racism is so “in your face” that it needs no argument, but I will provide a few vignettes:
In the middle 1950s, the A&P store in Casa View had a “colored only” water fountain.
When we boys at Reinhardt hit the restroom urinals (there were four) while changing class, everyone knew to avoid the second and third—“Boy, Girl, N*gg*r, Squirrel.” [More about sexism in “The Dark Underbelly of Reinhardt—Part 2.” I'll cover squirrels, that is, children with special needs, in Part 3.]
Boy's restroom across from gym. Taken June 11, 2007.
We would begin our neighborhood hide and seek game with
One potato, two potato, Three potato, four,
Five potato, six potato, Seven potato, more!
(Then the child would remove the fist on the word "more" and the game would begin again.)
but continued on with an
Eenie, meenie, meinie, moe
Catch a n*gg*r by the toe
If he hollers make him pay
Fifty dollars everyday
My mother told me to choose the very best one,
and you are not IT.
In the eighth grade, I had an old guy for American History. I don't remember his name, but he was very full of himself--bragged about being president of the Texas school history teachers and how distinguished he was. While we were studying the American West, he decided to allow a student to raise his hand and make a comment. The boy said his older brother was a graduate student in history and his brother had told him that the Indians had really got a raw deal and that much of what we were studying in our history books was inaccurate or incomplete. The old shitbag teacher responded with a very fierce shutdown, that that was very "dangerous" talk and was not going to be allowed in his classroom.
When was Bryan Adams finally forced to desegregate, under Federal court order? Was it the early 1970s? UNT has done a wonderful job in recent years of exploring its history of racism.
http://www.unt.edu/northtexan/archives/s04/history.htm
Someone ought to do the same thing regarding our little cluster of public schools in east Dallas.
PTA moms had nothing to do with the powerful forces
at work to desegregate, but they watched the news
closely. Photo taken June 11, 2007 at Reinhardt Library.
The racism is so “in your face” that it needs no argument, but I will provide a few vignettes:
In the middle 1950s, the A&P store in Casa View had a “colored only” water fountain.
When we boys at Reinhardt hit the restroom urinals (there were four) while changing class, everyone knew to avoid the second and third—“Boy, Girl, N*gg*r, Squirrel.” [More about sexism in “The Dark Underbelly of Reinhardt—Part 2.” I'll cover squirrels, that is, children with special needs, in Part 3.]
Boy's restroom across from gym. Taken June 11, 2007.
We would begin our neighborhood hide and seek game with
One potato, two potato, Three potato, four,
Five potato, six potato, Seven potato, more!
(Then the child would remove the fist on the word "more" and the game would begin again.)
but continued on with an
Eenie, meenie, meinie, moe
Catch a n*gg*r by the toe
If he hollers make him pay
Fifty dollars everyday
My mother told me to choose the very best one,
and you are not IT.
In the eighth grade, I had an old guy for American History. I don't remember his name, but he was very full of himself--bragged about being president of the Texas school history teachers and how distinguished he was. While we were studying the American West, he decided to allow a student to raise his hand and make a comment. The boy said his older brother was a graduate student in history and his brother had told him that the Indians had really got a raw deal and that much of what we were studying in our history books was inaccurate or incomplete. The old shitbag teacher responded with a very fierce shutdown, that that was very "dangerous" talk and was not going to be allowed in his classroom.
When was Bryan Adams finally forced to desegregate, under Federal court order? Was it the early 1970s? UNT has done a wonderful job in recent years of exploring its history of racism.
http://www.unt.edu/northtexan/archives/s04/history.htm
Someone ought to do the same thing regarding our little cluster of public schools in east Dallas.
PTA moms had nothing to do with the powerful forces
at work to desegregate, but they watched the news
closely. Photo taken June 11, 2007 at Reinhardt Library.
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